The only major event that has happened to me, apart from the announcement that I can go back to school, is one of my closest friend's wedding. I was a bit apprehensive about this. It felt that I was losing a close friend, even though she has just married a great guy. I know they would want to spend more time together, which is less time than me. That last statement came out as selfish and that is correct. I wish I didn't feel this way but I do.
Another reason why I was apprehensive in turning up to the wedding is that I had to meet people I previously know and tell them I just turned out to be a huge failure in life. Even if it is your so-called friends have difficulty in reacting on what you say. Even though it is no fault of their own, I rather be not put in that situation. Let's just say some people handle it better than others. One person, Andrew Lai, was a prime example of how not to handle a person who is going through difficulties. He rather treated it like a piece of curious news rather than with an empathy. I'm just glad he's not a psychiatrist.
Two friends I wanted to avoid at the wedding, with specific instructions handed to the bride Evelyn telling her I do not want to be within ten feet of them, were Mercedes and Dora. Mercedes has just come elusive to me. She hardly writes or contacts me and it was through two other friends that I knew she came to Hong Kong to visit a few years ago. Even if she didn't have time to say hi, I would have like to known what she is doing. The fact that makes it worse is that I felt particularly close to her, as a true friend that I could count on. Now I just feel abandoned by somebody who has no remorse on what effect she has on other people.
Dora, on the other hand, is just Dora. She has no remorse. She is a manipulative, spoilt, self-centred bitch. In my next entry, I will probably elaborate on two incidents on why I view Dora the way I do.
So did I go to the wedding? Yes of course I did. I wanted to be happy for my friend plus I know I had to re-enter society, even though I hate it. But that's a story for next time