Sunday, September 18, 2016

Revised suggestions for BBC Sports Personality of the Year

As an obsessive compulsive person, I like making lists. Especially regarding BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Yes, I know it is not the highlight of a sportsperson's career but it does add some recognition.

The last time I did the list, it was midway through the Olympic Games. Now that the Olympics is over, that list can be revised. It is difficult to select ten nominations. The last time there was an Olympics during Sports Personality of the Year, the nomination list was extended to twelve, which included the Paralympians. Even with just the Olympians, picking fifteen would be difficult.

So with that in mind, I had to cull a few from my previous list. Out go Bradley Wiggins (his Olympic gold came in a team effort, plus he's already won before), Katherine Grainger (despite winning medals in five successive Olympics, this time was only a silver)

So in no particular order, here we go.

1. Adam Peaty
- Olympic champion in the men's 100 m breaststroke, becoming Britain's first Olympic swimming male champion since 1988 (Adrian Moorhouse, 100 m breaststroke).
- European champion in 50 m and 100 m breaststroke.
- Broke his own 100 m breaststroke world record twice during the Olympic Games.

2. Jason Kenny
- Olympic champion in the men's sprint, keirin and team sprint.
- Kenny has tied with Chris Hoy as the British Olympian with the most gold medals (six).
- World champion in the men's sprint.

3. Laura Trott
- Olympic champion in the women's ominium and team pursuit.
- Became the British female Olympian with the most gold medals (four).

4. Mo Farah
- Defended his Olympic 5000 m and 10000 m titles (only the second athlete to do so).
- Became Britain's most successful athlete in track and field.

5. Max Whitlock
- Olympic champion in men's floor exercise and pommel horse. Also won bronze in the men's all round.
- Became Britain's first Olympic gymnast to win a gold medal.

6. Andy Murray
- Became Wimbledon champion for the second time.
- Became the first British male to win multiple Wimbledon singles titles since Fred Perry in 1935.
- Olympic champion in men's singles tennis.
- The only player to win two singles gold medals and to defend a singles title.

7. Nicola Adams
- Olympic champion in women's flyweight boxing.
- First woman to defend Olympic boxing title.
- World champion in women's flyweight boxing.

Here on after, the rest are maybes.

8. Justin Rose
- Olympic champion in men's golf.
- Could also help Europe win the Ryder Cup.

9. Charlotte Dujardin
- Olympic champion in individual dressage. Olympic silver medallist in team dressage.
- Successfully defended her Olympic individual dressage title.

10. Nick Skelton
- Olympic champion in individual jumping.
- Great Britain's oldest Olympic champion since 1908.

11. Liam Health
- Olympic champion in men's K1 200 m canoe sprint. Olympic silver medallist in men's K2 200 m canoe sprint.
- Became Great Britain's most successful canoeist at the Olympics (one gold, one silver, one bronze)
- European champion in men's K1 200 m canoe sprint.

12. Alistair Brownlee
- Olympic champion in men's triathlon.
- First triathlete to win two Olympic titles and defend the Olympic title.

13. Jade Jones
- Olympic champion in women's 57 kg taekwando, defending her title.
- European champion in women's 57 kg taekwando.

Monday, September 05, 2016

Post Olympic thoughts

Since Rio 2016 finished a few weeks ago, two issues have been occupying my mind:

1. The (questionable) success of Team GB
Team GB enjoyed it's most successful overseas Olympics, winning 67 medals. Yet there were many countries questioning their success. Sportspeople from France and Australia wondered how the British cyclists performed averagely in the World Championships earlier this year but roared to success in Rio. Even I was wondering how on Earth did Team GB become so good and hoped there wasn't anything else other than hard work, discipline and the will to win - such as hidden motors or doping.

There have been articles on why Team GB has been more successful than in the last Olympics. Most of the success has down to lottery funding. The poor performance at the Atlanta Olympics in 1996, with just one gold medal won, changed the way British sports was administered. UK Sport was established in order to manage the proceeds from the newly established National Lottery. It used the money to target which sports were the most successful and would benefit from funding. The funds went to sportspeople so they could dedicate themselves full time and provide the infrastructure (such as training centres, supporting staff, etc.) to help the sports people be in peak condition. UK Sport is ruthless in the funding - if you don't obtain your target, your funding will decrease. The only targets were Olympic medals, so World Championship medals wouldn't have benefited British Cycling in terms of funding.

The medal target incentive seems harsh but the evidence suggests this plan has worked. Team GB have increased on the medal count at the Olympics ever since Atlanta - a total of five Olympiads. Compare this to the French Olympic team, which has roughly the same amount of funding but even distributes the wealth amongst all sports federations. That system is fairer but not necessarily more successful.

2. Why aren't Olympics sports not covered or celebrated more?
I have been quite tired of football recently. I have been following football less as I grow older. I still follow my team, Arsenal, with their results and highlights but with less enthusiasm. A number of things have disenfranchised me from the sport.

a) The overexposure of football
Football seems to be the top story in most sports media outlets throughout the year. Most of the stories are inconsequential. They include transfer speculation, injury news, reports on the manager's job safety and so on. I reckon most of the stories are made up or at least have bent the truth.

It doesn't help that the football seems to be always on. Out of 380 games during the English Premier League 2016-17 season, 168 games (44%) will be broadcast live. How can you have an uniqueness for a match when one out of two games are shown on TV?

To ensure there is maximum coverage of all matches, fixtures are regularly moved or played at times which are ideal for TV audiences. This has alienated fans who travel to games. These fans have to re-arrange their schedule and rebook travel tickets, which can be more expensive the later the match is re-arranged. Sometimes you can't arrange travel for some matches, such as Friday night, Saturday evening and Sunday. With all this money from TV broadcasting rights, have the paying fans benefited? No, which leads me to another point...

b) The amount of money being thrown around
The TV broadcast deal, for domestic and international rights, will earn the Premier League £10.4 billion over three years. The Premier League and its clubs will also earn lots more in sponsorship. Yet this hasn't trickled down to the paying punter. Single game tickets range from about £22 to £52 for the cheapest seats. If you want luxury, that will cost you £32-97. Unfortunately, with the popularity of the English Premier League, there are people willing to spend that money and these aren't always "true" football fans, rather people who view the game as a day out or an experience, rather than the drama, theatre and emotions true football fans view the game.

In order to stay in the Premier League, or become successful in it, clubs have thrown ludicrous amounts of money into players. The latest transfer window has seen the English Premier League spend more than £1.7 billion on players. Eight figure sums have been exchange for relatively unknown and seemingly average footballers. The average Premier League footballer will earn around £32000 per week or £1.7 million per year. This is just the basic salary and doesn't include their bonuses.

The amount of hype and money thrown around has disenfranchised me from the sport. So where else can I turn to? With the new found success of Team GB, why aren't these sportspeople more revered or paid better? The media should focus on sports which actually create success. Yet they seem to put the spotlight on the England national football team, which seems to limp to the second round of every major tournament before being knocked out by lesser teams.

If the sporting federations of Olympic sports want to capitalise , there's no better time by riding the wave of success. Encourage youngsters into taking up the sports by offering free introductory lessons, offer cheap tickets to sports events and get the Olympians to turn up to promotion events. Because I rather see a medal winning Olympian rather than an average Premier League footballer.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Early suggestions for BBC Sports Personality of the Year

I know many disregard BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Since the BBC lost the coverage of significant sporting events, their end of year of review hasn't been as good as it use to be. A lot of people tend to focus on the word "personality" and seem to exclude who don't think are exciting enough to be a "personality". Remember the term "personality" has many different meanings (I remember the podcast "No Such Thing As A Fish" defined personality as a special person and used the term "TV personality" as a comparison).

However SPOTY (the acronym for Sports Personality of the Year) gives rise to the intrigue of trying to compare different sporting achievements. With Rio 2016 halfway through, most of the focus will be on athletes who have excelled at the Olympic Games. Here are just a few suggestions for names that will be in the hat in December:

1. Adam Peaty
There was a lot of pressure for Peaty coming into these Games. He was the world record holder and world champion for his marquee event - the 100 m breaststroke. He showed he can handle the pressure by breaking his world record in becoming Olympic champion and giving Team GB their first gold medal of Rio 2016. He is also contributed in the 4 x 100 medley relay, helping the British team gaining silver.

2. Jason Kenny
Kenny moved into a tie with Wiggins and Redgrave as male Olympians with five gold medals, after winning in the individual and team sprints. He was already world champion, having won the individual sprint earlier in the year in London. If Redgrave and Wiggins can get knighthoods for wining five gold medals, surely there will be a Sir Jason Kenny coming soon?

3. Bradley Wiggins
Wiggins returned to track cycling after finding success on the road in the Tour de France and the Olympics. He won the madison with Mark Cavendish in this year's world championship and he gained his fifth Olympic gold with the win in the team pursuit. With that medal he becomes the most decorated sportsperson in British Olympic history. And for the people who are fickle that the winner of SPOTY has to have personality, Wiggo has plenty in abundance.

4. Laura Trott
The other half of British cycling's celebrity couple, she is no slouch herself. Going into Rio, she had already world champion at the scratch and omnium. Trott added the team pursuit to those accolades and became the only British female Olympian with three gold medals.

5. Mo Farah
I have no idea why Farah has not won a Sports Personality of the Year award. In the non-Olympic years of 2011 and 2013, he won both the 5000 m and 10000 m world championship. He already has won the 10000 m in Rio, despite falling down and he could retain the 5000 m later in the week. Surely his time is due.

6. Max Whitlock
If Louis Smith had been Team GB's gymnastic star in 2012, Max Whitlock has been the sensation in 2016. He helped Team GB win the team bronze and then going on to win two individual gold medals (Britain's first in gymnastics) in the floor and pommel horse.

7. Katherine Grainger
By winning a medal (silver) in the double sculls, Grainger became Britain's most decorated female Olympian with five medals (one gold, four silvers) and doing this at the age of 40 years.

8. Justin Rose
There were several golfers who shied away from the Olympics. Rose fully embraced being an Olympian. He attended the opening ceremony, despite it being six days before the start of the golf tournament. He carded the first hole-in-one on the first round and it got better from there. On a thrilling last day, he edged out Henrik Stenson to win the first Olympic golf gold in 112 years. He could further improve his odds of winning SPOTY by helping Team Europe retain the Ryder Cup in September. A honourable mention should include Danny Willett for winning the Masters in April.

9. Andy Murray
I have to declare my bias as I'm an Andy Murray fan. He won last year after helping Great Britain win the Davis Cup, where he really should have been someone else and the team win just Team of the Year. However it is difficulty to ignore his achievements this year. He has reached the finals of the Australian and French Open, becoming only the tenth player to reach all Grand Slam finals. He won WImbledon again in July and now he has become the first tennis to retain the single's title and win twice in the Olympic tennis tournament. He still has the US Open, the Davis Cup and the World No. 1 spot left in his calendar. Could this be the first time SPOTY has been won in successive years?

We still have half the Olympics plus the whole of the Paralympics to look forward to. Let's hope Great Britain's sporting achievements continue.

(N.B. Team of the Year should be Leicester City, defying the odds of 5000-1 to win the Premier League title.

Saturday, August 06, 2016

Haters gonna hate Andy Murray

It has been announced the flag bearer for Team GB at the 2016 Rio Olympics will be Andy Murray. Naturally there are people who thinks he deserves the honour. Nonetheless there will be other people who think the responsibility should go to another sportsperson. Both sides have their arguments for and against, and all are valid. Yet somebody has to miss out. The most compelling argument is one I read from a reporter on Twitter. Of the 26 flag bearers for the British summer Olympic team, 23 have been white males. If you had argued on that fact, I wouldn't mind the flag bearer being Nicola Adams or Jessica Ennis-Hill.

However Andy Murray does deserve to bring in the Union Jack for Team GB. He has played at two Olympics, is current Olympic men singles champion and also won a silver medal in the mixed doubles. He competed in Beijing as well and stayed in the Olympic village there.

(However he did not stay in the village in London, as did most tennis players as the complex was very far from the tennis site of Wimbledon. Andy Murray won't be staying in the village for Rio, as he will be staying with the British tennis team in an apartment. I'm slightly disappointed with the decision but I've heard many well known athletes get hassled for autographs and photographs if they stay in the village.)

There has always been detractors regarding Andy Murray. It all started in 2006, when he joked he would "support whoever England were playing against" during the World Cup. Most people thought he was serious and took the comment the wrong way. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum. As a Scotsman, Andy Murray is allowed to make that joke. It has always been a joke every Scot has made about England's participation and Scotland's lack of participation at the World Cup finals. All Brits laugh at this joke, so why would we treat Andy Murray differently? A prime example of "being Scottish/British" joke is when Alex Ferguson was asked if he would take the England manager job. Ferguson replied he would make England worse if he did. Nobody was angry at Ferguson then (probably because they all fear him).

At least Andy Murray was trying to make a joke. Most sportspeople are a vacuum for humour. That is what you get if you dedicate your life to being the most successful sportsperson - your personality seems to go. Roger Federer has his admirers but I just find him bland, along with Rafael Nadal. At least Novak Djokovic is great at doing impressions of other tennis players. Those big three tennis players may have more Grand Slams, been men singles tennis No. 1 and have other accolades but I will admire Andy Murray more.

The only other controversy I can think Andy Murray has been in was his tweet regarding the Scottish independence referendum in 2014. He tweeted "Huge day for Scotland today! (The) No campaign negativity last few days totally swayed my view on it. Excited to see the outcome. Lets do this!" He got a lot of abuse online for that and I cannot see why. He's entitled to his opinion about any affair, whether it is informed or ill informed. As a Scotsman (although not living in Scotland), he has more of vested interest in that referendum than the rest of Great Britain. And anybody thinking he can summarise his own view of Scottish independence in 140 characters is in loony land themselves.

As you can see, I'm a great supporter of Andy Murray. He may have a monotonous voice when giving speeches or interviews but that is the way he is and he's not going to change that. He hasn't done any media training and I hope he stays that way. Nobody remarks how bland footballers sound when the give post match interviews.

People often confuse his dourness for a lack of humour. That is far from the truth. He poked fun at himself at the 2015 Sports Personality of the Year Award, when he said:
“I didn’t expect this. A friend actually sent me a message the other day with an article from a newspaper which said ‘Andy Murray is duller than a weekend in Worthing’, which I thought was a bit harsh... on Worthing.”
He shows that he doesn't mind being ridiculed. He has had to bear the annoyance of the kids from "Outnumbered" for Comic Relief. He was actually funny with Richard Ayoade for "Stand Up To Cancer". Yet the best example of his humour is his appearances on "Mock the Week". He has appeared in 2012, 2013 and last month. All come after recent successes at Wimbledon. He is brave enough to face seven comedians and let them have a dig at him. The point of ridicule must been on his second appearance, where one round of Scenes We'd Like to See was dedicated to him - Unlikely Things For Andy Murray To Think. Gosh that must be excruciating for him to watch but a delight for the rest of us.

As a supporter, I naturally follow him on social media. He posts on Twitter and Instagram semi-regularly but if you really want to see him more, you should follow his Facebook page. It's the usual you get from a sportsperson - mention of sponsors and charities, behind the scenes of his preparations. He does keep a lot of his personal life private and I don't mind that.

The snippets of his personal life I do know make me love him even more. He has two dogs Rusty and Maggie May. Rusty was named after Lleyton Hewitt, while Maggie May has her own book published and her own Twitter account. He has a great wife in Kim Sears. She is an artist but she stays silent about that and doesn't use her relationship with Andy Murray to promote her work. She is always by his side at matches (and at Mock the Week - surely she gets tired of that?) and you can occasionally hear her, like in the 2015 Australian Open (look it up).

Andy Murray may not be the best tennis player in the world, or the funniest or most exciting. But he is the sportsman I relate to. He know he's dour, he love his dogs and he like watching Mock the Week - sounds familiar to you.

On a last note, he geeks out about the BBC TV show "Sherlock". After winning this year's Wimbledon, he got a chance to talk to Benedict Cumberbatch. You can see he is a fanboy of Cumberbatch, and fist pumps when he hears that Series 4 of Sherlock is being filmed. Who doesn't love that?

Thursday, July 07, 2016

Top Gear

The recent series of the revamped Top Gear has ended and with it the tenure of Chris Evans. It was inevitable the Radio 2 DJ would leave the show. Since the first episode, he has been described as the weakest link of the car programme.

The BBC didn't want this situation but it had no choice. When Jeremy Clarkson punched Oisin Tymon for not producing hot food after a day's shooting, the BBC were put in an unenviable position and had to fire him (technically his contract was not renewed but the outcome was the same). I know many Top Gear fans said the BBC would be losing out on a lot of money if they sacked Clarkson but what else were they going to do? If they didn't sack him, it basically means that Clarkson or any big star at the BBC could get away with murder. Let's put the situation in another way - if you punched a colleague, what would happen? Your employer would say goodbye to you and your wounded colleague would sue the arse out of you.

When Clarkson, Hammond and May left, the BBC had to pick up the pieces and see what they can salvage. They still had the name "Top Gear", which has worldwide brand recognition, and the Stig. All they needed were appropriate hosts. Unfortunately they got Chris Evans. Even though he's a good radio DJ and car enthusiast (especially regarding Ferraris), he has divided opinion and it showed in the news series. Most of the time, he is trying to drum up the audience too much and being way too shouty. He was known to be difficult to work with, represented by the lack of banter with his co-hosts.

All is not lost on Top Gear. Matt LeBlanc has done very well with presenting Top Gear and doesn't mind being picked on being American. The same goes for Sabine Schmidt - she doesn't mind being the butt of jokes and adds pedigree with being an actual racing driver. Eddie Jordan adds some lunacy to the picture but he wasn't on often enough and didn't present any of his own segments. The new guys had their good and bad points. You can see that Chris Harris is a petrolhead and he can present to camera well. He is also well opinionated, which adds to good conflict with his presenters. Rory Reid is well knowledged about cars but comes across as too nice.

At least the new producers tried to revamp certain segments. The "Star In A Reasonably Priced Car" needed a makeover and turning the lap into a rallycross segment was good. However pitting two celebrities against each other wasn't that great. Comparing the celebrities' cars wasn't that brilliant either. They really need to go back to the natural chat that Clarkson had with the guests.

They still maintained the standard with segments and challenges. All they need to build on is the on-screen banter. 'A' for effort, 'B-' for actual content.

Thursday, May 05, 2016

Death is hardest to deal with when it hits close to your heart.

It seems death has been a predominant theme for 2016. I'll go into celebrity deaths and the rest in a later entry.

In the early hours of Sunday 24th April 2016, my friend Aaron died. His death affected me in more ways than one.

Aaron and I have never met face to face. We come to know each because we enjoy the same radio programme, "Fighting Talk" on BBC Radio 5 Live. We have been friends for about two years, finding out that we have much in common. We both reminisce about the 1980s, especially about TV shows. He was great to engage online, chatting on music and movies. He loved quizzes and he got me playing "QuizUp" on my smartphone. He had a similar sense of wicked humour to mine.

The similarities don't end there. We both suffer from depression. We both been through trying out different anti-depressants to see which would fit us the best. We both had our up and downs. We both expressed our depression to our online friends without being afraid of what people think, that we were not afraid to ask for help. We both conversed with each privately about our depression, supporting each other through the rough patches.

Ultimately it was his depression that killed him. Although the details have been sketchy, primarily because the news I have been hearing has been delivered by proxy. Aaron had been going through a bout of depression in March. I had noticed it and had been conversing with him during this period. There was some time he was not online, around three weeks. I didn't notice, maybe because I was dealing with my own troubles with depression and work, and had gone on holiday. Only in mid April did I hear the news from a common friend that Aaron had been admitted to ICU for alcoholic necrotising pancreatitis. Apparently he had tried to commit suicide by consuming a copious amount of alcohol. This didn't kill him but caused the pancreatitis I mentioned before plus multi-organ failure. Most of his online friends thought he was pulling through, being on the mend. In the end, it seemed the damage was too much.

This is the second friend who has died at a young age. My friend from secondary school, Theola, died of complications of IgA nephropathy (a kidney disease) in early December 2014. I had written an entry into blog at that time. For some reason, I didn't post it. Both died in their 30s - Theola at 32 years old, Aaron at 36 years old. Both had died from complications of their primary disease. Their deaths had come our of the blue. I was chatting to Theola on Facebook only two weeks prior to her death, planning to meet up and crash at her place. We were joking I had to share a bed with her two cats if I was going to stay overnight at her home. I'm going to miss conversations like those. With Aaron, he had already been ICU for a few weeks. He had been planned for surgery, with family and friends visiting him.

As a doctor, I always feel I could have done more. For Theola, she was diagnosed four months prior to her death. She traveled back to Hong Kong to see if an expert nephrologist could do anything to help her but to no avail. With Aaron, the guilt is more so. As a friend, I could always talk to him and give my support, even though I was thousands of kilometres away. As a fellow depressive patient, I know the struggles he was going through. As a doctor, the guilt is even worse. I should have noticed Aaron had disappeared off online. I should have recognised the signs, since he was putting up posts on his Facebook wall of being down in the dumps. Other friends have said we have done everything possible and he would still have killed himself. Apart from being attached to Aaron, 24 hours and 7 days a week, we couldn't have prevented this but the guilt is still there.

Don't get me wrong, it's a tragedy more for his family, his closer friends and everybody around him. For Theola's death, it was horrific for her parents, her younger brother (who was going to be married a month after her death) and her husband (they had been married for less than two years).

With Aaron, there is always something I identify in his situation and always thinking, "that could be me". In the past, it would have been - I've lost the number of times I have tried to commit suicide or the number of times I have been hospitalised for my depression. Nowadays I know there is an alternative. I can always quit my job. I could always go back to England or go to Australia. I could always go into research or switch to public health. I've got enough money in the bank to last a few years (as long as my mum doesn't kick me out of the house).

As we grow older it will be inevitable we have to be more accustomed to death. It's not easy to deal with - it never is - but with the support of family and friends, it will get easier.

Monday, May 02, 2016

The lack of drive

I touched upon the subject of my lack of drive in a previous post back in August 2015. I thought the situation would change but the lack of drive continues to persist. Even trying to sum up the will to write this post took several months. Only because I want to write about another subject that I have to write about the lack of drive so that the next post makes any sense.

I looked back at my previous post and found nothing has really changed. My reasons for the lack of drive is the same. I still haven't done what I am supposed to do for my higher training: my consultation videos, my notes for the practice assessment, my clinical audit. Even the fear of being left behind, having fellow doctor friends or doctors who are younger than me being resident specialists, associate consultants or consultants, doesn't motivate me into trying. Here I am, still pondering about emigrating to another country or planning my epic months-long holiday (I've added a cross country trip of Japan into the lexicon, either as a rail journey or a road trip). I've excluded my ambition to join MSF as I know my depression will get in the way. When I'm really unmotivated to do anything, I become very obsessive-compulsive about doing meaningless tasks, i.e. planning my epic North American / European / Japanese trips, despite them being at least 2.5 years away. I watch / listen to TV/radio programmes I have watched / listened to before, instead of engaging into new stuff.

I've tried to find other reasons why I'm not motivated. Is it the fear of the stress that will be entailed if I do my Exit Examination? I've seen other doctors go through the endeavour and the whole process frightens me. I fear of relapsing into a major depressive state, something I never want to happen again. There have been many senior colleagues who have said the Exit Examination isn't hard but they didn't rule out the process will be stressful. I have learned I cannot handle stress well (hence why I won't be apply for MSF). One recent event has made me quite sombre lately (which I will write about later).

So what am I doing to help my motivation. I've agreed to participate in a clinical trial, to see if repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation will help. Basically it is using a device to produce magnetic waves so it will stimulate my brain into being happier and more motivated. I'm in week 3 of 4 into the treatment and I don't think anything has changed. I know with this method of treatment that the results may not be seen immediately.

However in the end I know most of the motivation has to come within. But how do I motivate myself to become motivated?

Friday, April 22, 2016

Celebrity deaths in 2016 - actually more or just a selective memory?

2016 seems to be a year when the number of celebrity deaths have risen. In the global sense, the likes of David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Johan Cruyff and now Prince have passed away. USA have lost Garry Shandling, Doris Roberts, George Kennedy and Harper Lee. Britain said goodbye to Terry Wogan, Paul Daniels, Ronny Corbett, George Martin, Frank Kelly and recently Victoria Wood.

The BBC have a great article on this matter. However I was thinking if we have a selective memory and we think the number of celebrity deaths have risen. I looked at 2015 and it seems we don't have a selective memory. The only celebrities that jump out to me from January to April 2015 are Leonard Nimoy and Terry Pratchett.

According to the BBC, it seems that the trend of celebrity deaths will continue. Now as a doctor I don't wish ill will or death on anybody, but I'm just suggesting to God that he should take out somebody which everybody hates.