Yesterday was the first day for choosing internship posts. I have been a bit apprehensive about the forthcoming internship. With my problems I had thought of not going through with becoming an intern. I had heard all the stories about the year in internship. One doesn't really learn much during internship. Those lowly interns are there to take blood for investigations and to record everything into the documents. I had heard about the sleepless nights and the lack of holidays. I worry I could crack due to the stress and relapse into depression again. I worry I'm might not want to get up and go to work, leading to a death of a patient at worse. Many of my friends say I would not lay in bed and kill a patient. They reckon I have a thing most Hong Kong people don't have - a conscience. That may be true but I wouldn't want to bet it with a patient's death.
I decided to go ahead with trying to become an intern. I think my options in the future of what I want to do would be more open if I can say I'm a fully fledged registered doctor. To be honest I don't care where I go to do my internship. Most people don't want to stay our teaching hospital as the pressure is higher than other hospitals and if you want to get a training post outside, it becomes harder if you stay at one hospital. I know I probably be posted to the main teaching hosptal as the doctors there know about my psychiatric condition and probably be a bit more sympathetic.
Most of my choices have been at the main teaching hospital but I've chosen all the psychiatric posts, since that is my interest. I have chosen hospitals close to my (parent's) home and specialties in those hospitals I'm interested in - orthopaedics and psychiatry. We are required to take medicine and surgery posts but I just don't want to do any O&G or paediatrics. I'm just interested in those specialities, both intellectually and emotionally.
I'm crossing my fingers I get the posts I wanted.