In an earlier blog entry, I said if you are not a Christian you shouldn't celebrate Christmas. Perhaps I was being a bit too harsh with that comment. If you use the holidays for getting together and for giving & receiving with friends, then I can find that acceptable. I know you should be doing that all the time but since most of us are working all the time in different places around the world, perhaps time should be allocated each year for this kind of event.
Since I have finished with classes, I have been getting together with people from my previous secondary schools. The first was on Saturday, getting together with the class I would have graduated with if I had stayed at Shatin College. There were a lot of people who I knew but they were a vast majority that I didn't. Some came to Shatin College after I left and even some had been with me at the same time, even back to Shatin Junior School but not being in the same class I was not that close to them.
I thought about not going and perhaps I was right. I knew I was not going to be much of a conversationalist and that I was not familiar with even the people I knew the most. My worst fears came true. I had a good time, meeting people I had seen in fourteen years, but from my point of view I could have done better. I am always too self-conscious about how I act and react in social situations. I was think I should be talking to people otherwise I look like a complete plonker. That is what happened most of the night. I know some people wanted to avoid me and I don't blame them. Perhaps we have nothing in common. Perhaps they were scared off by the way I look - I dress like I'm still thirteen, have grown fatter than an elephant and still have acne despite being in my mid-twenties. I know I have changed and maybe this frightens off people. I have become more pessimistic, more cynical and very heavily sarcastic - something not all people are use to.
I don't like to sound too down-heartening. One good point is nobody asked me where I frittered away four years of my life and I didn't have to reply that my depression was the cause. People treated me as a normal person... I think.
The other get together was with a guy I was with at Brighton College for four years. It is amazing that we talked like we were old friends but without having to mention much about our boarding school days. Just general things were mentioned like what we were doing and idle stuff. Again I am thankful my depression was not mentioned.
It is funny how people remember you. Nearly everybody remembers me as an Arsenal fan and having a photographic memory. If that is the impression I made, then so be it.