"I'm so ronery..."

I haven't blogged for quite a while. Quite a lot of activity has been happening in my life. My brother is back from UK for a holiday and I recently ended my surgical rotation. I'm currently in my A&E / ER / Casualty rotation, whatever you like to call it. I'll write about my experience so far at a later date. Now I have to spend my day off figuring out how to pay tax and updating my family medicine logbook.

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I recently met up with my supervising family medicine mentor. She explained to me that being in family medicine can be lonely at times, having to rotate through different specialties for short periods of time and not being around other family medicine residents. I told her that was fine with me, as being a loner was something new to me. Being in England by myself in a predominantly English environment and being in Hong Kong in a vastly Chinese culture having being brought up in a Western background has left me with enough experience to be on my own.

When I said that to my mentor, I knew it would sound awkward to some people that you don't mind being alone. I have few close friends and even then I don't engage with them that often. Or is it the other way around, that they don't engage with me that often? I can never tell the difference. I just find I'm rubbish around people. I'm really a bore when it comes to conversation because I have nothing to say - my life is pretty dull and I don't have any remarkable stories to tell. Also I can never engage in petty chit-chat or gossip. I don't really care who goes out with who and who is stabbing who's back. I don't care in the first place and I don't really give a shit when it is said.



When I want to go out, it is usually by myself. I go to the cinema by myself, I go shopping (which is very rarely) by myself and I go to the golf driving range by myself. I want to spend my time how I see fit and going out with other people means being accommodating to them as well. If it is friends, that is fine but when it is colleagues or other people it can be quite boring since they talk about matters which you don't find not a slight bit interesting. I do find doctors very boring to talk to since they talk endlessly about work.

I remember when I was in secondary school, I attended the Sixth Form scholars' dinner with the headmaster and his wife. Mrs. Seldon commentated that being a scholar can often be a lonely existence. I find that true with being different to everybody else. The more different or far from normal you are, the more likely you are going to spend time alone. It is just something you have to get use to.