Space on either side

Not a good day today. Myself, with the rest of my group who I am still very unacquainted with, have been employed as slave labour plus seat filling for the upcoming Surgical Congress this following Sunday & Monday. Going to miss out on a lot of studying time.

I noticed something recently that has been affecting me for about ten years. I noticed that nobody sits next to me, 90% of the time. I know most people think I'm crazy and it is all down to my depression, picking up these negative aspects. At times I would agree but I do think this happens. It occurs in any situations - lectures, classes, on the bus - and occurs with anybody - strangers, class peers or friends. I don't have any reason to explain it. I try sitting in different places - at the front of the class, back of the class, middle of the class, to the side - but the effect is the same. The only time that anybody sits next to me is when there is nowhere else to sit.

I do accept people would like to sit next to people who they are familiar with but this has happened to strangers, who don't know who I am, plus my friends, who should know I'm not frightening. I don't think I'm that physically repulsive or the places I sit next to are bad places to sit but it does bug me, even more so when you are depressive nearly all the time.